Balmain? BalMEH! – 6 ways you can spend your money in stead of purchasing a Balmain by H&M item.

Hey lovelies, 

Today a post that I know will not be happily received by everyone. I think a lot of fashionista’s will be pretty pissed but you know what. I do not care. Some things are meant to be said and I am here to say it.
This week H&M launched their collection: BALMAIN X H&M 1443212077_kendall-jenner-gigi-hadid-balmain-hm-zoomand the internet and the webshop of H&M got taken over by fashion loving people that were desperately trying to score a Balmain item. At some point when all the ‘top items’ were sold out people just randomly bought something, anything from the Balmain collection so they could fit in too and post on their social media that they had ‘scored the item that they really wanted’ even though you and I know that that is not true and you only got that item because nothing else was left and you did not want to be the only one in  your click without a Balmain by H&M item.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a huge fan of Balmain, but Balmain by H&M is just a glorified H&M item. Guuuurrrlllll, You still don’t own a ‘real’ Balmain item. And I know that there are also people out there that bought a piece from the collection because they genuinely like it or that they, like I do myself as well, admire the very talented Olivier Rousteing and that is perfectly fine. I just do not want people to define them self with a fashion object. Or people that are trying to fit in by buying something that is so ‘in’ right now. Let’s be honest, you know basically all the winter ’15 celebration pics ( especially xmas) will be filled with all these girls rocking ‘Balmain’- Do you really want to be one of them? – Find your own swag and style. That will be much more fulfilling than being a Kendall Jenner copy. (And no this is not an attack on her, the is beautiful but you are too and you should be your own individual!).

Therefor I picked out 6 BALMAIN X H&M items and I will give you tips on how you could spend that money differently. No worries, this is not a post about that you should donate your money to charity. Spend that money on your self guuurrll, but you can decide to do it differently too:
Schermafbeelding 2015-11-07 om 10.21.49This dress is 499 euro. 
Did you know that for 499 euro you could easily book a plane ticket to a nice tropical destination. Or perhaps you are more the city trip kinda person. offers great deals to go to NYC for example. A return ticket starts from 425 euro’s.
So what do you prefer? A dress you can probably wear one time or actually spend your money on a plane ticket so you can see and discover a new city, a new country and to create memories for life?Well, for me the choice would be so easy…
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99 euro’s for this top. Okay, I must admit, this is actually a top that I really like and I think it is a nice item to add to your wardrobe because you will be able to wear it more often but that is not the point. What could you do with a 100 euro’s. Since we discussed going to NYC just now, why not stay a bit closer to home. Ryan Air  offers flights for less than a 100 euro. Perhaps it is time to take that weekend city trip
that you were waiting all that time for.
100 euro’s on a new top or 100 euro’s towards a plane ticket?
 Schermafbeelding 2015-11-07 om 10.19.38149 euro for this dress. Seriously? H&M, what were you thinking.
I know it supposed to look fancy and all but it is too much shimmer and the dress actually looks kind of cheap.
For a 149 euro you buy a beautiful timeless and classy watch. For example from the brand Daniel Wellington.
They offer a wide variety of beautiful watches. For him and for her.
A watch is something you can were everyday and is surely worth the investment.
 Schermafbeelding 2015-11-07 om 10.20.34This is something I have never understood. Why do you want to wear a t-shirt with the name of the brand so obviously stamped on it. Armani has these tees as well and I just don’t get it. You are paying them to promote their brand. Gurrrll, they should pay YOU for wearing the Tee. For 30 euro’s you can go to the M.A.C Cosmetics counter and treat your self to not one, but 2 lipsticks! Or even a highlighter.
You can purchase something that can help you to enhance your natural beauty in stead of promoting a brand for free.
And if you are not that in to make up, why not buy a book, or a new Lonely Planet? So you can plan your next trip!
Schermafbeelding 2015-11-07 om 10.20.48
 This blouse, I just can’t. What is this even? Where would you wear this? Would you really spend 350 euro on something that looks like it belongs in a carnival?
For 350 euro’s you can purchase a camera, for example of the brand Samsung. They offer different compact digital camera’s in that price range so what do you prefer. This over the top blouse or a camera that you can use to capture all your memories, use for your blogging, take on your travels?
I think that answer is pretty damn clear.
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 299 euro’s on a leather jacket is perfectly fine. It is actually a good price for a real leather jacket. But with this overhyped HM/Balmain one you will just be one of the many girls wearing this jacket. If you are looking for a nice leather jacket explore other brands too. For example Goosecraft is a brand that designs jackets in the same price range but with purchasing their brand you will definitely be more original and it will be less likely that you will run in to a girl on your next shopping spree with your exact same jacket.
This article was not written to attack anyone that likes or owns something from the Balmain collection. If you got something that you really want for the right reasons I am so happy for you and I hope you will enjoy it a lot.
This was purely my opinion on how you can spend your money differently.
What would you buy instead of purchasing a BALMAIN X HM item?

Things i’ve learned in my 28 years on this earth part 1.

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Hey lovelies!

Tomorrow, or well in just a few hours I will turn 29. Damn, how fast does the time fly by right. I can’t believe i’m almost hitting the dirty thirty but hey, i’m not there yet.

I decided to write this post to share some of my knowledge I have gained through out the years. I think we can all learn from each other and therefor I hope I can teach you some things. I hope you can learn from my mistakes, my failures, my succeses and my experiences. So here we go..

If you are lucky enough to still have your parents spend time with them. As we are growing up, they are growing older. They will not be here forever. No matter what your situation with hem is now, they are the ones that created you. Without them you would not be here. Appreciate that. Appreciate them. Even if you don’t live with them anymore. Call them up sometimes. Not when you need something. But ask them how they are doing. Get to know them, love them, treasure them.

People come and go. Friends come and go. Some people will disappoint you, you will disappoint people. But real friends will be there no matter what. You do not need a lot of friends. A handful is much better. Do not ‘waste’ your time investing in everyone you have met. Of course it is good to be social but real friends, you just need a few. Invest in them and let them know they matter to you- never assume.

To follow up on that point. Never assume. There is this saying that when you ‘Assume’ you make and ‘Ass’ out of ‘U’ and ‘ME’ and it is kind of true. Do not set your self up for disaster by expecting things without clear communication. If you want to know something, ask it. If you need something, get it. Never let things go by, just assuming.

Love is the most beautiful emotion and feeling out there. Love will make you feel good and bad, sometimes at the same time. Do not run away from love, open your arms and embrace it. Love like you have never been hurt before, even though it is f*cking hard. Just someone hurt you in your past does not mean that the next one will hurt you too. And if they do- that is life. Do not deprive yourself of something that could possibly be so good. Love others and let them know that you do. 3 words, 8 letters can be so magical and powerful. Do not let the one you love go on without them knowing how you exactly feel.

Do not only have love for others. But also love yourself. A lot. Look at yourself in the mirror and give your self some compliments. Tell yourself you are beautiful because, baby, you are. You are gorgeous. Do not set to high expectations for your self, be reasonable, be realistic. Be kind to your self. Do something nice for yourself. Buy yourself something nice. You are the person you are stuck with for the rest of your live. Why not have a great relationship with yourself? Try to be your own best friend.

Forgive yourself, forgive others. Do not let hatred fill your heart. Maybe you have been through so much sadness and pain. Maybe someone has hurt you so much that you don’t know how to forget that. But that is not what I am asking of you. You can probably never forget that certain moment, however, you can chose to forgive someone. Work hard on that and your reward will be huge..

If there is something I wish for all of you is to travel. Go out, see the world. Explore, discover and enjoy our beautiful earth. You are not here forever and the world is so beautiful. Why only see a small part of it. I don’t have money or I don’t have time are just excuses. If you can not afford a world trip and don’t have the possibility to save up for this, explore the country that you are in. There is so much more than just your hometown. Traveling will give you so much more than you can ever imagine. You will learn so much about the world, about others, but most importantly about yourself.

Read read read. Continue to educate yourself. Be curious, never stop reading. Nothing is better than getting lost in a book, in a story, in the thoughts of someone else. There are so many great books out there. Find out what kind of genre you like and just get lost in it. Find your favorite author (Mine are Fitzgerald and Bukowski). Let them inspire you.

Your body is your temple. You only get one of those. Take care of it like it is a sacred temple, because it kind of is. Stay in shape, eat healthy, brush your teeth (yes this sounds maybe so random, but really, do it 2/3 a day). Exercise, not to lose weight but to feel good.

You are always good enough. You are enough. Never change yourself for someone else or let others tell you that you are not (good) enough, because you are. You are beautiful and you have your imperfections like anyone else, but that makes you YOU. That makes you unique. Cherish your self and look at your positive qualities. Make a list of them and read them every now and again.

Be a kind and warm person. Be understanding towards other people. Nobody is born a bitch or an asshole. Do not let your past influence you in a bad way by becoming a bitter soul. If you have been through stuff, forgive those people, forgive your self. Do not judge others. Do not let your insecurity rule you. Be a nice person.

Laughing is so important. Smile and laugh every day. And if you do not feel happy, try to find something that makes you feel happy.

Always do what makes you happy. Do not live your life for others. Do not try to make others happy. Try to make yourself happy. Maybe your parents want a certain path for you, but if that does not make you happy, do not do it. Maybe your friends expect something from you, but anyone who does not allow you to be YOU is not a real friend. Find the thing that makes you happy and go for it. It might not bring you major succes at once, or at all, but does that really matter? If you are happy doing it, why stop?

This was part one of my list. Part 2 will follow soon. What are the things that you have learned so far? xoxo

An open letter to my crush.

Hey you,

You beautiful boy. This one is for you. And the funny thing is, you will probably not even know that I wrote this for and about you. You are not very keen on social media so I wonder if you would even click the link you see that will lead you to this post but if you do, this one is for you baby.

I am crushing hard on you. From the moment I have met you I felt something I did not feel in a long time. You are special, so special and I do not even think you realize how special you are. When I saw you I felt this instant attraction and for me this was weird because you are not my standard ‘type’. You are not the blond viking’ish looking scandinavian guy, no you, you were different. Tall, dark (‘ish ) and handsome. So handsome that I could not keep my eyes of of you.

For me it is so easy to read men. For me men are simple (and no I do not mean to insult anyone over here). But the guys I meet, I can read them, they are an open book for me. But you, you ar a big mystery for me. I could not read anything. And it fascinates me.
Sometimes I noticed that I was just staring at you. Watching you move and watching you be in a moment and it made me smile. You really march to the beat of your own drum, and that is what I like about you and what I admire about you. 
94f5939fe4bc30afb4adccdfba188d51They say that opposites attract and I consider myself to be your opposite. However I have noticed a few things were we also are quite similar.
Normally I feel very comfortable around men, but with you I felt a bit insecure. Where normally I have a lot of game, with you I had 0 game, like seriously, 0. I was too afraid to say something stupid that I chose in situations to say nothing at all.

You are the perfect combination of cute and sexy, attractive, handsome and hot. So hot. If I would have had to create my definition of the perfect guy, it would be you. You are extremely smart, ambitious, kind, polite and so beautiful. You have great manners, manners that blow me away and I did not know that guys like you still existed. You are so amazing. You have these ‘weird’ habits that are actually kinda geeky but I really like them. You do things that no other guy that I know does and for some reason they make me shy around you. And those things make you so adorable.

You are the kind of guy I could kiss forever. From the evening till the morning without getting bored. I could stay up all night and talk to you about everything. You are such an interesting and intelligent person and if you could have impressed me so much in the small amount of time we spend together, imagine how mindblown I will be after a few more weeks.

12189943_458932977646995_8927662546391312870_nIn just a few days you have inspired me more than people I have known for such a long time. You have done so much for me, more than you will probably ever realize and for that I am forever thankful. You made me want to be a better version of myself. I want to be someone that can meet your standards.

I wish I could get to know you better but that is such an unrealistic thought since I think that this crush is a one way street. And besides that, we do not even live in the same city, let alone the same country. So I will just let it be and admire you from a distance and secretly hope that one day you will say: “Hey I am coming to Antwerp, wanna meet?”. And I will already hate your future girlfriend because I will be so jealous of her. Because with you she definitely won the lottery. And you know why? Because you really are the best person ever.
unnamedThis could be us. But you probably hate The Notebook. Haha. In stead of see you forever, I will have to say, See you never. xoxo

PS: If you think that this might have could be written for you, I challenge you to ask me if I wrote this for you..

The awkward encounters of me and my hot neighbor boy: The final chapter.

Hey lovelies.

I am sorry for not being able to talk to you in a while. There has been a lot going on in my life lately, a full post about this subject will follow this week because it is quite a personal story that I am willing to share, only I need the time to put in in to words.

I had to take some time for my self to get some things together. And now I did and I am ready to be yours again. Later this week I will share my personal update but first I would like to finish the series of ‘My awkward encounters of me and my hot neighbor boy’ – so I can continue with a fresh slate that I so desperately needed for quite some time actually.

In the last article I wrote about him, us everything was perfect. I became his girlfriend and we had a fantastic time. I could probably fill a few more articles about the fun stuf we did, the beautiful moments that we shared and all the awkward encounters but I decided that I would not do this anymore. The relationship that we had, how short it was, was extremely toxic and not a good relationship to be in. I could see it in the little signs before we were in the relationship but I still chose to be in this relationship.
Why you might ask? – I wish I could give you an answer but I honestly just can’t. It is difficult to explain but I will try.

A few weeks ago during a dinner with some people the following topic came up and this question was asked me: “Why do you only date bitchboys’ (as in loser guys and guys I know I do not have a real future with and those that not necessarily treat me well all the time. Unpredictable and unstaple guys”. I gave a random response and laughed it off but it actually got me thinking. Why do I only date ‘bitchboys’ ?

The real answer is,  is that I am afraid. Afraid to get hurt (again) and afraid to give myself to someone, put myself out there, where my heart on my sleeve and just wait for the second it gets ripped off and broken to a million pieces. But if I date these ‘bitchboys’ I have all the control, I do not like them that much anyway and I know that I do not have a future with them but it is fun for the time being and they do not have the capacity to hurt me- and that makes me go for guys like that. – Does this make any sense to you?

“Love like you have never been hurt’- Can you do that? For the past few months I could not..but I am willing to try again. I am willing to dust my shoulders, pick my self up and just try again. (yes do you hear that Aaliyah and Timbaland song playing in your head now too?And for me to start with that, I have to get ‘rid of the old, so I have room for the new’.

With the end of this series, I do not want to say that I considered my hot neighborboy to be one of these ‘bitchboys’ but realistically we were not a good match. Where he reminded me of a mixture between Chuck Bass, Harvey Specter and Christian Grey his dominants was not something I could handle nor want in my life. He is a good guy but he is just not the guy for me. And I am not the girl for him.

Therefor, this will be the final chapter in this series. I have decided though that I will continue writing about my (dating) life as I am still the same weird and awkward girl I have always been. I actually have been in some weird situations again and I can not wait to share those with you.

I hope you guys will understand my decision and I actually need your help.. For my new series of columns that will be about me and my (dating) life I need a new name.
Do you have any suggestions? Let me know down below!

The winner / the title I will chose will actually get a really nice gift from me.

Talk to you guys soon. xoxo


The awkward encounters of me and my hot neighbor boy: The morning after!

Hey Lovelies!

We will continu just where we left off…Did you read all about how I became my hotties GF? No?- Check it out here: *Click!
Yes- let’s continu than! 🙂

When I woke up I felt very blurry. Like I just took a rollercoaster ride in Six Flags for the 100th time in a row. I felt dizzy but happy and it took me a second to realize why I was feeling this way. I looked to the right side of my bed, where normally my pet cat is and I saw a bigger ‘cat’ lying there. A big tiger. Haha. No, it is not that kinda post. I saw my hot neighbor boy lying there, still sleeping. It was so weird to see him ‘quiet’ and this peaceful. It gave me little butterflies in my tummy. He was so incredibly cute.

beyonceeI pulled the blankets over my head while smiling from ear to ear. I could not believe that we spend the night together and that it felt so good.
After feeling lovey dovey I realized that he could wake up any minute and in my mind he is not ready to see me without my make up just yet, cause let’s be honest girls… We don’t all have that beautiful ‘I woke up like this face’ that Beyonce has as you can see by the picture on the left. Does she look like ‘Beyonce” in this picture? No not really, but she is still drop dead gorgeous and trust me, when I wake up like this I look nothing like that. My hair looks like a birdnest (haha, so embarassing but so true) I have dark circles under my eyes and my skin is not near as flawless as hers. Does this matter? No- I am good the way I am but for the first time, you would like to look a bit cuter for your boy, no? Well, at least I do. beyonce flawless
So I ran to my bathroom to do some touch ups. Not a full make up look but just a little concealer under my eyes, some daycream with a little color in it- just the basics. And of course I brushed my teeth cause there is nothing less sexy than morning breath and I brushed my hair. I still looked very natural but I would rather not traumatize him by my real “I woke up like this face” just yet. Haha.

I was just about to rush back to bed when I heard some noises. FUCK! Was he up already? I wanted to sneak back in my bed before he woke up so I can pretend to sleep and ‘wake up’ when he woke up, you know, like romantically waking up together. I ran back and just before I was able to jump in my bed I fell over my pet cat (oh there he was in stead of on my bed) and I fell. So there I was, lying on the floor, FROZEN and affraid to move. Because before when I thought he was up he appearently wasn’t but I am sure that the noise I made with my fall woke him up. And yes, it did. I heard him whisper: ‘Baby, is that you?’- OMG, I was already dying on the floor but did he just call me ‘Baby” ? He never called me baby. I was dying from excitement and happiness. But I still was lying there, quietly. I hope he would just fall back a sleep and I could get up without the huge embarassment of facing him.
I think it kinda worked because after a few minutes (that felt like hours) it was very quiet and I was able to get up and get back in to bed. I checked if he was sleeping and he was. Or he pretended that he did- I don’t know that for sure.

I snuck back in to bed and where I wanted to pretend that I was sleeping, I actually fell a sleep again. I was woken up with a kiss on my forehead and a nice breakfast in bed. Wait- he made me breakfast? WOW! I did not expect that. It was weird how much could change overnight and that he showed this softer side of him that I did not see untill now.

This picture is btw not my own picture. I got it from Pinterest. I felt incredibly geeky taking a snap of something so small that made me so happy and as I was still feeling incredibly embarrased by my fall I decided not to do it. The breakfast was kind of similar. He made me a toast with an ommelette and got some croissants and pastries from the shop we live next too and there was also some orange juice. Not freshly squeezed, but hey, I am not complaining. 

The entire morning was perfect. We talked a lot about the previous night and how much we both enjoyed eachothers company. He said that he did not feel like this in a long time and that I triggered something in him and that it felt really good. He said so many sweet things that I did not know how to respond. I am not the best when it comes down to my emotions cause I either overcompensate or I don’t say anything at all. I do not have a grey area when it comes down to love and emotions- maybe you can relate? – For me it is really difficult and this time I did not say anything back- wel hardly anything.

I just smiled and ate my breakky. I saw that this made him a bit insecure. Today I really saw a whole new side of him. I thought, okay girl, you got this, just say something back. Anything. Because I was feeling the same way- So there it was, my big “I like you too moment” – The words came out of my mouth:
“Wow, the breakfast is so nice, thank you” – Wait what, really? That was my responds for his entire “I am so happy that we are here together speech”.  – Djeez, I really suck. So than I just gave him a kiss and before I knew it I did actually say something nice: “I am really happy too baby”. (Yes I called him baby too cause that is actually my favourite nickname for when I have a BF).

And there it was, his million dollar smile. Bye bye insecurities, hello my kinda arrogant at times, but really sexy BF.

“Come on, get dressed – I got something planned for you. For us’- He said.
And what that was….I will share that the next time with you but it was really fun I can tell you!


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8 Things that will happen when you are the one in your friend group that always travels (or lives abroad).

Hey lovelies,

How are you doing today? I was busy writing my reviews from my Bali trip (have you seen the latest one *Click ) and while looking at my pictures I realized that due to my work and passion for traveling, I do travel a lot. No, this is not a big revelation to me but I did realize that even though it comes with a lot of blessings and beautiful memories, it also has its ‘downside’.
Yes, traveling and wanderlusting throughout this globe is Fan-freaking-tastic, but sometimes it can get hard too. For me, I travel a lot and I live abroad and thought it was the perfect time to write a post about this. Sharing 8 things (positive and negative) that will happen when you are the one in your friend group that always travels, or lives abroad! Perhaps you can recognize some points, thoughts and feelings, so let’s go!

Being away from your family will make you miss them. (Or not, haha). I have a really close connection with my mom, dad and sister and not living in the same country as them can be difficult at times. It is not that I expect to see them every day but it sucks not being able to just go over for coffee when I feel like it.

2.  YOU WILL MISS YOUR FRIENDSSchermafbeelding 2015-09-14 om 22.10.25Missing your friends is also a big downside of living abroad. It can be hard to see that your friends continue their weekly get-togethers (obviously, cause life does not stop when you move away haha) and you are not a part of it. At least, not physically. Movie dates with your besties, clubbing till the break of dawn or just lying in bed with a chocolate candy bar watching movies is something you can’t do that easily anymore.

3.  YOU WILL HAVE A LOT OF DIFFERENT FRIEND GROUPSshuub en ikBesides your home town friend group you will have a lot of international friends too! Traveling and living abroad has also a very big plus side! Because you are always on the run and/or you have lived in several places you will probably have a lot of friend groups that you are part off. People that you met while traveling are probably living all over this globe so for your next city trip the chances are quite big that you have a friend to crash with. Also, what I have learned is that while traveling or living abroad you become faster, closer to and with people. You all share that one big thing; “You are away from your own loved ones so you create your own ‘Family” and this can be pretty damn awesome too!

One thing that deeply sucks is missing milestones in your friends and family members’ life. Everyone continues their own life. A life with graduations, birthdays, anniversary’s and weddings and it is so hard to be there for every occasion. For me, being in my mid-twenties I have friends that are starting a family and it sucks that when you see your girlfriend becoming a mommy, that you can’t be there when her first baby is born. Yes you will see the baby, 6 months later when you will go back to your homecountry, but during the most important time you can’t be there to support her and it will suck terribly.

Living the nomad/travelers lifestyle is not something everyone can relate too. The endless discussions I have had with my friends who mean well but just don’t understand. “Why are you always traveling, why aren’t you settling down”. And the one that really is icing on the cake: “Why don’t you have a normal lifestyle”. But let’s be honest, who defines the word “normal”. If normal is being married by the age of 25, having 3 kids, a hubby and a cat, going to your office job everyday, spending your weekends being a soccer mom, I am sorry but than I really like to be weird. I do not mean this in an offensive way. I respect everyone and their lifestyle but you will have people judging you for not choosing this lifestyle too. It is hard to explain why you have this burning fire in your heart to discover planet earth, to see all the beauty that this world has to offer so at some point I would advice you to just smile and nod.  It has absolutely no point to argue with people that don’t understand a wandering heart.

6. YOU WILL BECOME VERY CREATIVE IN WAYS OF HOW YOU KEEP IN TOUCHwhatsappYes, it is true. You will become even more creative than you already are with keeping in touch. You are so used to being ‘gone all the time’ and you don’t want to neglect your friends or family so you think of ways of keeping in touch cause let’s be honest, just texting ain’t enough. When I was living in my hometown I would always just text my friends short stuff like hey, let’s hang out but I would never send them a card, or a long email, or a video message. Why should I? I would see them on a daily/weekly bases. We live in a time where we have so many possibilities of keeping in touch. Through social media (FB, Instagram, Twitter) or just a simple email. A video message or a whatsapp voice message. Yes, everything is possible so why not take advantage of that? I have had the most fun whatsapp 
voice messages lately with my girlfriends and trust me, you should do this too!

Once you do go back to your hometown and see your fave friends, you will make every minute count. And I mean EVERY minute.
– You arrived at 11 PM at the airport and you reach your home around 1 AM but your friends want to go out because you will only be ‘in town’ for 2 days- Trust me, you will go! And the morning after another friend wants you to come over to admire her 2 week old babygirl, SURE! You will go. You will make it happen. How tired you might be, you will feel so energized by the thought that you will see the one friend you have not seen in such a long time, that all your tiredness will disappear. You will make use of every minute that you are ‘home’.  It might require some strategic planning and adding some friends to getter in a new ‘group’ but you will make damn sure you saw everyone you wanted to see, went to your fave cafe and you will hit the road again with a 1001 new amazing memories.

This sounds so corny and cliche but really, you don’t know what you got until it’s gone. Or well, gone’ish. Haha. When you are used to talking to your friends and seeing them on a daily bases, or are still depending on your mom to bring you soup when you are sick and coming over to take care of you (Yes, I am a 28 year old woman and I still expect this from my mom #noshamenogame haha)
 and all of a sudden, this is not possible because you live abroad or are traveling, you will appreciate those moments more. When you are back living in your hometown, those things are so normal. So normal that you don’t even realize that it is actually quite special. Being in my ‘home away from home” has taught me a valuable lesson of who matters to me most, besides my family, who my real friends are and who I choose to have in my life. And if you are lucky, like I am, those people will choose you too. They will understand and love you and your wandering heart and they will always be your ‘home’.


The awkward encounters of me and my hot neighbor boy: The day he became my BF!

Hey lovelies!

Wow, have not spoken to you in a MONTH! I can not believe it ! I really needed some time for myself… With my hot neighbor boy, well as you know it all happend so fast and so much has happend over the little time that I knew him. In the past month a lot has happend as well and I needed some time to process it all. Besides that, I was really busy with planning my trips as I have some exciting collaborations coming up the coming few months. Just to name a few…you will see a lot of beautiful pics, travel tips and reviews about Bali, Jakarta, Brussels, Dublin, Stockholm and Oslo!

I really can not wait for those trips. But first things first… short recap before the long story.

Is he my BF now? – No
Was he at some point? – Kinda
Do I want to be with him now? – Don’t know, i’m so confused
Is there someone else? – Maybe..

So let’s get it started. The last time that I talked to you guys he met my mom and they, how strange it might have been, kinda hit it off. They decided that we would go shopping together, for bikini’s. Yes, the first thing that came up to my mind was FML Tripple XL! I was far from being bikini season ready, but I mean, unless your name is Doutzen Kroes or Adriana Lima, who ever really is? I think us girls always see things we would like differently about our body’s no? Haha.

But so we went, shopping for bikini’s. My mom, my neighbor boy and myself. Really? I felt like I was dying. I actually thought of calling in sick but that would have been too obvious. Eventhough we ( my neighbor boy and I) live a 5 minute walk from the city center he wanted to go by car. I said that I thought it was ridiculous but he said that we might go away from the city center for dinner. And here he was again being the confident and arrogant man that he is. But somehow I still liked it…

So there we went, to the city. In his big brand new car. When we were walking towards the car I told my mom to hop in the front seat, he heard that and he rushed to the door to open it. My mom thanked him and sat down and as I waited behind her, so he could open my door too I did not notice that he was already sitting in the car.
‚Are you still coming?’ – He said. Okay, FML, he was not opening the door. I felt so embarrassed. I pretended like I was busy texting someone so I would not come across as the idiot that waited for a guy to open the door for her..#OOMPALOOMPA, but on the other side, he was nice enough to open the door for my mom so he still scored some points in my book.

As we went to the city my mom said to immediately go to Hunkemoller (which is a Lingerie Store where they sell bikini’s too) so I could find some nice bikini’s. Here was the moment that I was giving me anxiety attacks for the past 24 hours haha.

silvie bikini
See, like I said before, I do not have a body like a Victoria’s Secret model and trying on bikini’s and showing them to my mom and my love interest is not on the top of my fave things to do list. (Yes, I know, everyone is beautiful in their own way and I am not claiming that you have to be a skinny ass model to be beautiful so let’s not go in to that shit right now. 🙂

We entered the store, my mom up front running towards the colorful bikini’s, behind her my hot neighbor boy going and behind him little old me. O-M-G, we were actually here. My mom got 5 bikini’s and came towards us. WOW, Ninja much mom? How fast is she? I was not even able to take 1 bikini and look for my size and she already had 5. In the right size.

Try these on first she said, and I went to the dressingroom. The first one I tried on was this colorful floral print bikini which is actually nice but I am really in to my nudes. In my clothes as well as my bikini’s. But the colors looked kinda cool so I thought to try it on anyway. Plus if mom picks out something you really can not say; NO.. haha. So I tried it on and called my mom. I carefully opened the curtain of my dressingroom just a little bit and just peeked with my head and called my mom. But of course she came and opened the curtain fully so everyone (my hot neighbor boy + all the other shopping customers) could see mee in my bikini. FML, I really should have went to the spray tan salon first because now I was so white that I felt like a walking glow in the dark stick.

There they were. Mom and hot neighbor boy. He was smirking, checking me out from head to toe and I could see that he definitely liked what he saw. But my mom obviously didn’t. ‚Why are you wearing that, you look like a peacock”.
Wait, what? But mom, you chose this bikini for me.

No, it looks weird, those are not your colors. Take it off.
WOW, I looked like a peacock? Thanks ma, love you too. I did not know if I should laugh or cry. As she left and went back to the store to get more bikinis for me to try I looked at my hot neighbor boy.
When our eyes crossed we just looked at each other and simultaneously said: ‚PEACOCK” hugged me and kissed me on my forehead and said, I think you look lovely in that one, my little peacock. And again he made an awkward situation less awkward for me. After this incident I tried on a few more bikinis and ended up buying the one that made me look like a colorful bird apparently and a all white one.

After all the shopping we decided to go out for some sushi and sake. My mom and my hot neighbor boy were in deep conversation and I kinda felt like the 5th wheel and I totally zoomed out. I was Instagramming cause I was so bored (and addicted to Instagram at the same time) until I heard my mom ask the big question. The question my dad normally asks:

„SO, what are your intentions with my daughter?
As I was just taking a sip from my sake I almost choked but did swallow the sake in time. I froze. Yet again. I could not even make eye contact with him or my mom so I just kept staring at my phone, to a picture on Instagram that I already liked so not sure what I was doing but I could not bare to look up.

Well, it is the first time in a long time that I am in a relationship where I really feel like we have a long future ahead.
Wait- what… a relationship? Did I have a BF? I was not aware of this news. haha.
I looked up and he smiled. My mom gave him her famous “approval nod” and excused her self because she had to go to the powder room. As she left the table I immediately grabbed his hand and said; what are you talking about, am I your girlfriend?
He said, didn’t you know? I think it was kind of obvious. Do you think I spend the entire day with any random girl and her mom? I would only do that with my woman. Wow, his woman? I am his woman now?

I wanted to play it cool and be like, but we have to discuss that first but I thought…#YOLO, just go along with it. So I gave him a kiss on his lips and hold his head between my hands and said, let’s get the check boyfriend. I want to go home.

So we asked for the check and brought my mom to the airport as she was flying back that night. From the airport back to my place I felt something I did not feel in a long time. Butterflies, and they were dancing and jumping in my tummy. A new thing that he started to do was when he was driving he would have one hand on the wheel and one hand on my leg. And every other minute he would look towards my direction and say how happy he was in just this moment. And I have to say, so was I.

As we reached our place and were walking towards my door I did not know what would happen. As we were standing in front of our doors I asked him your place or mine. He said, yours.

I opened my door and there it was. A bouquet of red roses with a little card in it saying: ‚Will you be my GF”
Before I could turn around and ask him how he got those flowers in my house he turned my body around and pressed me against the wall and gave me a long passionate kiss. As I latterly felt my heart skip a beat and pushed him of me to get some air the only thing I could say was: „how’ and he interrupted me. „ you did not think I would not ask you properly right, I am an old fashioned guy”. I could just smile, only smile, all smiles that night. He lifted me up and kissed me again. And that was the first night he spend the night, being my BF.

SPOILER- and it was amazing…. More on Sunday y’all!


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